Hillary Cummings:
Concept of “Self”
I feel you have a valid argument of taking on an online class versus a traditional class. I thought it was creative of you to use the two scenarios as a side by side comparison and I found it effective as a reader; it helped add to the validity the point you were trying to make. Your paper was well organized and your paragraphs transitioned nicely into the next one, this is something many people struggle with, but you were fluid throughout.
One thing you might consider is the usage of the word “you.” Who exactly is “you?” The reader? What if this does not pertain to me as the reader? (I can use” you” in this post because I am specifically addressing you, Hillary.) I had a teacher in high school who stressed this every week so it is drilled into my head! I struggled with this and changing this and using other pronouns or nouns helped my writing significantly, so it is just a food for thought.
Great job!
Without God
This was a strong argument without being preachy. You gave your opinion and offered support behind it, without trying to push your beliefs onto the reader. I commend that. I like the way you incorporated quotes from the text into your post. I especially liked the opening paragraph with the sudden revolve at the end. It worked effectively because you proved throughout the rest of the paper why you “beg to differ.” There were a few comma errors in a few spots, but that is the only minor thing I saw. Great work!
Armando Teran Jr:
Social Psychology- The Individual Self
I like how you incorporated your experiences with the two locations of the classroom, it helped add to your credibility because you have experience with both and now have a valid opinion because of it.
Your post was a little jumpy and you somewhat changed your opinion in the last paragraph. I think this is because you had no clear thesis or topic in your opening paragraph. I would work on trying to make your posts more fluid. Start with a strong opening paragraph, then supporting paragraphs following after; this will make your arguments and opinions stronger. Good job!
Religion and Moral Identity
I like in your second paragraph how you simply state what it is that you believe. Many people may see this as too blatant, but I see it as a bold statement that you are going to argue for. It is like saying “Here is what I believe, and this is why.” I think it is an interesting take on it. You were a little jumpy in this paper, so once again just work on being more fluid, work on transitioning smoothly into the next paragraph, and I think that will make your papers great. J
Can We Be Good Without God?
This was a short, concise statement of simply your opinion. I think you have a good start for a paper, I just wish you would have argued your point more and backed up your thesis, which you so prominently state in the first sentence. It was difficult to see your viewpoint without reasoning behind it. I think if you developed this more, you would have a great piece.
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