Amity Conolly:
5 October 2010-Love: It’s Only a Matter of Time
I don’t really have much to say about this post. I thought you did a good job organizing your thoughts with proof from the text. There were no major grammatical errors that I saw. You had a clear topic for each paragraph and transitioned into the others nicely. I loved this line in your essay, “Maybe the marriage vows will be altered slightly. Instead of ‘til death do us part’, the new vows can realistically read ‘til divorce do us part’.” I thought it was really clever and actually quite realistic. Overall you did a great job.
7 October 2010-Pandora’s Box
This was a well written piece. Grammatically in your second to last paragraph you need a question mark instead of a period in one place. I felt at the beginning you were taking sides with animal homosexuality relating to human homosexuality, but at the very end you change sides. You did a good summary of the reading. I would have also liked to have seen your personal opinion in the post as well as what you did. Good work.
Mary Bak:
5 October 2010-Love??
Good job on using paragraph form again. When you cite in-text, make sure your period goes after the parenthesis and not in the quote. I liked the scenario you used in your second paragraph. I would have liked to have seen you use quotes and passages from the text to support these claims to make your argument stronger. Then you could have had a lot more proof and validity to what you are saying. It is a good start of an idea, and I think with evidence it could become a lot better.
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