Amity Conolly:
“Meet Me Halfway”
I really liked the example for your life that you used. It demonstrated well a common occurrence among dialogue between men and women. I felt you incorporated quotes from the text well and I loved your last sentence. I have a few suggestions for your second paragraph. The last sentence is a fragment, so combine it with the previous sentence by using a comma. Also be sure to put question marks after your questions that you probe him with. You did a great job using a real life example to incorporate Tannen’s ideology.
“Reap What You Sow”
I was not sure if you were for or against abolishing monogamous, heterosexual marriage or not. However, I felt this was an extremely well written essay. You put in the quotes from the text flawlessly and I thought you did a great job describing evolutionary psychology and its relation to society today. I think this paper would be great for you to use to turn into our next large essay that is due. If you took a stand either for or against abolishing this type of marriage and use what you already have to prove it, your paper will be extraordinary and it would be long enough for the larger essay. Good work.
Mary Bak:
28 September 2010
Good job using paragraph form in this post. It greatly improved your writing and you were able to more fully develop your ideas. I would personally omit your first sentence from this and introduce the conversation you were having with your brother a little differently. You did well incorporating what Tannen was saying into your real life example. I definitely see an improvement from what I read this week from what I read last week. J Great job!
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