Lauren Spencer:
“George Orwell Said it Best”
I liked your great use of referencing a past work in relation to your own ideals. This is one of my favorite novels and I found it extremely intriguing, and like you, applicable to today. I thought it was clever of you to use it to open your post and then go in to how it relates to your own ideas. You have very strong opinions, but they are not pushy onto the reader, so good job with that. 1984 is a book title, so make sure you underline it. Also, you need commas in quite a few places, so watch for that and also watch using the word ‘you’ in a paper.
“Rollin’ in the Benjamins”
I enjoyed your opening and how it led up to your next paragraph about finance being about more than just wanting money and you went into more explicit detail. I think adding quotes from the text would really strengthen what you want to say. Be careful with your tenses, I noticed a few spots where you went back and forth between past and present; be fluid throughout.
Darien Allen
“Centralized Government: The Good, Bad, or the Ugly?”
I really enjoyed the quotes you used to back up what you were saying; they added validity to your point. I felt you had a good argument and even if I personally do not agree with where you might stand, you argued your case well and as a reader I understood the basis for it. This was a well written piece. I think you could expand on it for our next essay and have a good piece of work. I agree with you as well that there are too many variables to consider to truly be able to judge what is best for a government and country.
On a side note: Your last words totally reminded me of the 7th Harry Potter book, “for the greater good” (probably because I just re read itJ ).
“The Evolution of Finance”
I agree with you that this was really hard to read (and actually kind of boring to me), but despite that, I felt you did a good job summarizing and hitting all the main points of the piece. You were able to put everything much simpler to where the reader can understand it. So I would say good summarization for such a difficult piece.
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