Lauren Spencer
“Material World”
I like how you portrayed your view of materialism. You put it well that we can buy things and have things, as long as it is reasonable and within our means. If you wanted to use this post for a future paper, you could use the idea you brought up about the state our country is in today and expand on that in relation to your ideas. I think you could have a lot to say and have a lot of information to back up your claims.
A few things, in your opening sentence, you need to close the quote with quotations, probably just a typo. Also the sentence “So why not spend money you can't take with you on things that you can't take with you” needs to be restructured to make more sense. There were a few other little grammar details such as commas that need to be put in as well. Great job!
“America: The Melting Pot”
I really enjoyed the way you phrased this sentence “I think the same thing applies for people; "don't judge a person based on their stereotype".” You used a great comparison to the judging a book by its cover. This is a good post, that could be even better if you could expand on the way that these people have influenced and benefited the United States. You spend a lot of time describing the stereotypes, then at the very end you throw in a few things that are good. You have a lot of good ideas in this paper.
You do not need apostrophes here to make them plural “burrito's, taco's.” Also, you need a question mark at the end of this sentence and a comma after the work ‘this’: “Having said this do you feel as though your culture has been misinterpreted.” Those are just a few grammar suggestions (I know, can’t you totally tell I am going to be an English teacher. J ) that I noticed. Overall , I enjoyed both of your posts. Great ideas!
Darien Allen
“Materialism: A Meaning Response”
This is an incredibly well written essay. The opening was different than what I would have expected, but I liked you connected it to anthropology and it tied in perfectly to what your paper was about. I love your word choice throughout. I also, like your examples of the tattoo and handbag for modern examples; they were relatable and identifiable.
Your second to last paragraph ends with a colon and not a period. Also, your last paragraph is in a different font. These are probably just little typos, but if you revise this post for an essay, I wanted you to be aware of them. J Excellent post!
“China’s Varying Influence”
Good post on Chinese Immigrants. I saw at the end how you kind of had an outline for expanding this post into a full blown essay. I was going to suggest to you to expand on how they influence the economy, then I saw it in your outline J. I think this is a good start to what could be a good essay, possibly for the next one that is due. Looking at your outline, you have a clear direction where you want to take this and ideas for it.
One thing I would suggest is maybe to take out the part that there is no policy like the one we have for Hispanic immigrants today. As a reader, I felt that was a little of topic from the point you were trying to make about Chinese immigrants, but that is just my suggestion. Overall, great start.
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