Week 4 Blog Reviews

Hillary Cummings:

Summary of Wright’s Essay

            This was a very good summary of the essay. I liked how you wrote so if someone had never read it, they would still get all of the main points by simply reading your summary. I thought you did an exceptional job in your organization of the post. It was fluid and touched base with every point found in the essay. You put things more simple than found in the essay, which readers are sure to appreciate.

P.S. Loved the picture J

Frida Kahlo

            In your description of the painting I found your sentences to be a bit choppy. They were all really short little sentences just stating a quick fact. I think by re-working these and adding more adjectives you could make it more fluid. I also found your interpretation of the symbolic meaning of the painting very interesting. I did the same painting and interpreted it very differently, but I still saw valid reasoning behind your points you made. I feel you presented a good argument of what you thought the painting symbolized. Good work.

Armando Teran Jr.

Thinking Machines Take Two

            Overall, this was a good summary. It was concise, but I feel you touched on all the major points that could be found in the essay. I liked how you quoted from the essay several instances and I compliment you on making them transition in smoothly. Your last sentence of the summary was strong and I liked how it was your opinion and it was supported by research from the text. One more thing, in you first paragraph, make sure you add a question mark when you quote Wright. It should look like: “Can machines think?” (Wright 141).

Wounded Deer

This is a good basic description of what you saw. I felt you described everything that was in the painting very well. Be careful with words that sound the same, but are spelled different and have different meanings. “Dear” and “deer” have two different meanings. “Dear” is a term of endearment to someone, such as a sweetheart or beloved one. “Deer” refers to an animal. There were a few times that you went back and forth between these two words. This happens to a lot of people; I just wanted you to be aware of it for future reference. You should have also interpreted what you thought it meant, I think you could have had some interesting ideas! Great job overall! J

Jordan Fluegel

Philosophy- Thinking Machines Take Two

            I thought the opening paragraph was a bit shaky and confusing. After that, however, you went nicely into the paper. The rest of the paper was well organized and highlighted the main points of the essay. Your last paragraph was nicely written as well. Just a suggestion, be careful of quoting things in your essays. Make sure you do in text citations and also that you underline or italicize things that need to be. I noticed a few places where this needed to be done.

Frida Kahlo

            I love the way you repainted what you saw with words. I thought you did an exceptional job on describing the painting. It was fluid, detailed, and gave the reader a clear idea of what it looks like without him or her actually having to see the painting. Your interpretation of the painting was very well done. I like the way you showed how each aspect of the painting is symbolic and what you believe it is symbolic of. Your post on this was my favorite one and the most well written one. Well done!