Week 6 Blog Reviews

Amity Conolly

21 September 2010

The Hangover:

     In this piece I felt you did an overall great summary of the movie and hitting the high points. I felt maybe you should have gone into a little more depth with the characters just to give the reader a better idea of a “wild real man.” I did like how you brought up social ideals in relation to Alan, and also our concept of Vegas and its significance.

     There were a few grammatical errors that I noticed, just to point out to you for future reference. This sentence in your first paragraph, “Alan, the future brother-in-law, who is slightly mentally off and has feminine qualities” is a fragment not a complete sentence.  Also, later in your post there are two sentences that really need to be combined into one to form a complete thought, “This is the ever dreaded trip for a bride. But the most anticipated trip for the groom and his groomsmen.” Just keep an eye out for this in future writing and I think it will really help!

23 September 2010

Screen Time and Family Time:

   I really enjoyed reading the ideals you presented in this post. I liked how you talked about both the negatives and the positives of technology, and how you specifically used the computer as that example. I liked your personal examples that you used from your personal life to exemplify the point you were trying to make. A piece of advice I would give to you would be to make sure you have a conclusion. Bring it all back together in the end. Also, it is probably your computer’s fault, but indent your second paragraph. Overall, great job! J

Mark Bak

21 September 2010

Good job on incorporating a quote from the text into your analysis. A suggestion I have is that you should focus on one main idea. Initially, I thought you were going to be writing about one movie, but by the end you were writing about another movie; try to make it more fluid. To do this, maybe you should write in paragraphs with a beginning, middle, and an end to what you want to say.

23 September 2010

I found what you had to say very interesting and a different perspective I had not taken. I like how you used a real life example to talk about the difficulties for lesbians to have an acceptable identity in today’s society. Again, I would suggest that you write in paragraphs, it may make your posts longer and take more time, but I feel you could more fully develop and discuss your ideas. Good work! J